Once again I’ve skipped out on another week of posts. Fortunately or unfortunately I’ve been enjoying life entirely too much to keep everyone posted. But don’t you worry because once the move to Sweden happens (Thursday) I’ll have a lot more time on my hands. Moving to a town with 9000 is sure to provide plenty of time to blog/Netflix/read/grad school.
BUT I have for you such a treat, Ricky Bobby aka the bestie has graciously written her hilarious rendition of our Thailand adventures and or fails. So sit back and laugh/enjoy/mentally picture all of the below.
Fall, Jump, Repeat: Directions for a Thailand Adventure
Step 1: Fall
Let me start by saying, I would consider myself a person of average balance and athletic abilities—not necessarily graceful or efficient with movement strategies but definitely safe. With this is in mind, I signed IJ, Al, and myself up for a 3-day trek to be full of elephants, waterfalls, bamboo huts, and whitewater rafting. My last experience with a trek, about 14 weeks ago, was in the rainforest off the Gold Coast of Australia. An elderly gentleman with a single-tip cane and a gait pattern that suggested a history of falls safely accompanied us on that “trek.” This man would not have made it onto the covered truck bed the Chiang Mai adventure company was trying to pass off as a bus.
I realize there are unpleasant things about being outdoors. I’m perfectly capable of handling a bug or two and believe it or not I don’t melt in the rain. These small pains are tolerable especially when rewarded with enchanting views. The hike up the mountain took approximately 3 hours. A fellow trekker broke out her inhaler at least 10 times. Tommy our guide and flip-flop enthusiast slowed the pace to allow for medical rest breaks. At every rest break IJ and I were eaten alive by mosquitos until the torrential downpour. At this point in time, I noticed my well-researched and highly-rated hiking sandals were shit in slick conditions. An hour later, we made it to our bamboo hut. We all sat in awe staring out from the top of the world at peace on earth.
With the memory of the asthma-inducing hike up the mountain fresh on our minds we decided to opt out of the extra day of hiking and modify our trek to 2 days. I quickly realized the hike down the mountain was going to be unpleasant. I fell and fell and fell. After the third fall, Douglas, a Dutch boy with 5 walking sticks in hand and elephant pants on body, decided to comment on the poor traction of my researched hiking sandals. I did not appreciate his feedback. After my fifth fall, we made it to the elephant sanctuary/whitewater rafting venue. The elephants were majestic and the rafting was enjoyable in a “this might not be entirely safe” kind of way.
From the edge of the Chiang Mai Grand Canyon, you hear your subconscious say back the truck away from this cliff. The Chiang Mai Grand Canyon is a red quarry where tourists with go-pros jump, flip, and occasionally die off of cliffs. Seriously, the 10m cliff was closed due to a recent death. Luckily for us the 7m cliff was available.
I was the first to jump. After minutes of tip-toeing to the edge and multiple heart attacks, I half-heartedly hopped off the cliff with the worst form imaginable. I broke water in a sitting position with my left elbow winging. Despite the instant bruising of my elbow and my recent enema, I felt proud. Do you know what separates the proud and heckling from the terrified and frozen? 7 meters. Ij jumped next. She was followed by the heard of bleached Aussies and their go-pros. An hour later a kind gentleman talked Al off the ledge. We all agreed once was enough for a lifetime and left the cliff to the fearless and quite possibly crazy.
**When I say my adventures with Ricky are always a good time I mean it. We’ve been so lucky to travel as much as we have already and I’m so looking forward to so many more trips. Hopefully within the year we’ll be telling you tales of beautiful Greecian Islands.
IJ & Ricky