When Life gives you lemons

It’s officially springtime and my season is coming to an end here at Lyngby. We went 1-1 again this past weekend, including taking one set from undefeated Bronby, which was glorious. Looking forward we now have 2 matches vs Amager for the Bronze medal. One home, one away and if we split those matches we’ll play a golden set immediately following the second match. (Golden set=1 set to 25 winner takes all American friends crazy right??). With my first season back coming to an end, having gained new friendships and experiences, and with my amazing Asian adventure in the horizon, it should be all rainbows and sunshine.

But instead of rainbows and sunshine, I am currently getting hailed on with lemons. So many sour sour lemons. My club announced this past Monday that due to unforeseen financial circumstances they will not be able to fund an Elite team this coming fall.

Um excuse me?

Back in November I decided to pick up my entire life up because I was guaranteed 2 years of playing overseas with which I would use to get back into playing shape and becoming a better setter under the guidance of ex-Olympian Coach Fred Sturm in order to move on to another league. **Okay, full disclosure, I did have an inkling that this might happen but it wasn’t 100 percent truly confirmed until Monday**. But thinking that you may be homeless in Europe in July/August and actually realizing you will be homeless in Europe in July/August are two completely different experiences. Instead of having another year to network and get better, I now am on the other side of the glass. For the past 3 years I’ve been recruiting girls to ACU. To be back on the other side, cutting film, hoping for responses, praying to land somewhere, is a trip to say the least. The anxiousness of thinking and wondering “am I good enough?” can really push a girl to confirm that she is at least good enough at eating a gallon of feelings ice cream. Did it help? No. Do I regret it? Never regret eating ice cream ladies and gentlemen. 

I’m now in this weird place of finishing up a season for a team that will no longer continue. One thing that is so great about the situation is my girly pops. This team has literally gone through so much adversity. They started off the season with 1 American and literally 6 danish girls and the group has continually shifted and changed throughout the season. The perseverance and hard work of these girls has not ceased to amaze me, especially when it comes to the girls that are nearly a decade younger than me I’m cringing as I type that. I feel confident knowing that the 10 girls going into the bronze matches will be ready to compete and leave everything out on the court for each other. Thinking about the last time I’ll play with these girls actually brings tears to my eyes. Okay, I’m not actually tearing up but I’m sure when the time comes I will.

So what now? Lemons, so many stinking lemons. As I mentioned previously the girls have dubbed me dang near 30. Dang near 30, no home in July/August, no volleyball contract for the next season, no plane tickets home to the states, no worries. Gotcha yah. Right when you think you have your life figured out, God closes a door that you thought was the right one for you. I sat down for a meeting with Fred, our Head Coach, a few days after the news hit. One thing he said to me was,”When one door closes, another one will open” I know this is a fairly common phrase but he followed it with,” and one day you’ll say thank God that, that other door closed”. Amen brother. Just because my plans have gone askew doesn’t mean my future is something to be worried about. Yes for the first 2 days I flipped, I cried, I ate lots of ice cream, kebab, and fries, and watched a string of sappy movies for when my tears dried and I needed more motivation. But at the end of the day it’s all going to be okay. I’m going to continue to work hard and leave everything I have out on the court and when the day comes when I can no longer play, I’ll know that I gave the pursuit of my dream my all and that’s good enough for me.

Good Vibes of the week:

One of the sweetest ladies I’ve ever met, Bettina, aka the Men’s Team Manager, aka Topher grace’s mother, came over to Room after the news hit. D’s sister was in town for the past week so she knew I would be alone and graciously invited me to her house for dinner and a movie. I usually am the type that wants to do what I mentioned above *stuff face *feel sorry for oneself *pretend that the human race no longer exists. But spending some time with a family, eating a home cooked meal, and laughing my face off watching Suki in Tammy (where my Gilmore girls at) was just as needed as the forementioned. I will be forever grateful for people that give so freely and ask for nothing into return, Bettina is one of those people and I hope that one day I can aspire to be the same.

Work friends are a real thing. I’ve become good friends with two girls in particular now at Bopa, Anjou and Kirstine. Both of these girls are in two completely different phases of life than me but I have officially become my new Bopa partners in crime. Anjou is a tiny adorable 21 year old outspoken newly single girl. And Kirstine is a tall athletic 24 yr old thesis writing, experienced traveller, newly engaged girl. The funniest part of this past week with them was as we were talking about going out. I kept saying, “Guys I’m entirely too old to be going out with you girls”. First off Kirstine thought she was older than me (eye roll) and Anjou just said no way. I then told them for the second time that I’m 26, when they IN UNISON got bug eyes and exclaimed you’re 26???? Then tried to play it off saying that that isn’t that old…..cool guys real cool. I can’t decide if everyone thinking I’m way younger than my actual age is a positive or negative reflection of my personality and actions but until anyone convinces me otherwise I’ll keep believing it’s a great thing. I blame spending the past 8 years of my life around girls 17-23 for my stunted maturity.

This past week has been riddled with major downs but has had its ups as well. When life gives you lemons, what will you do with them? I’m choosing to take this lemon in order to change it into something that will positively benefit my future. Nose to the ground, bronze medal first, 2016 volleyball contract second, maybe home in july/august after priorities right?.

Ever Wanderlusting,

IJ

 

So Fresh and So Clean

It’s currently 45 degrees and I’m sitting outside at my favorite cafe “working on homework”. Ask me 6 months ago if I would go anywhere in 40 degree weather and my answer would probably be hard no. Now, 45 feels like heaven. My how perspective can change. This entire week…(and a half now) I was contemplating whether or not I would have anything to write about. It’s officially been almost 4 months in my move and I’m already running out of material?

I made the big jump and now enough time has passed that the newness of adventure has faded away. Moving across the world is no longer new. I walk around places in Lyngby (my Copenhagen suburb) thinking about the first time I was introduced to a grocery store or shown where to buy essentials for living. So after the newness and excitement of something big happens what are you left with?

This past week has been one full of work and volleyball. I was either at the cafe or at the gym. Luckily it was my week off of grad school (and tinder/bumble) so I had enough time to breathe. We had our first two playoff matches and split for the weekend. Going into playoffs I wanted to have the mentality of working hard and letting the wins come after. I think my team did a great job of just that, even though we split for the weekend. Although the newness of this particular adventure has faded, there are new adventures to look forward to and continuous ones to push through. We only have a few more weeks left of volleyball and my desire to compete and play has not faded. Going into our last weekend of the first round of playoffs all of us girly pops are focused on doing our job on the court for each other as best as we can and letting the wins come after that.

Two people that play a big part in my real life and not as much in my blog life are the rarely mentioned “twin towers”. I literally can’t think of a better way to describe Ev and Amanda. Both giants, both hilarious, and both share my love for adventure. These two girls could literally survive in Room #2 with no other human interaction for a solid few months. Although they aren’t exactly twins (in looks or personality), they are both such a good time and have the relationship of sisters which I absolutely adore. AND they are both amazing middles and teammates. Hopefully you’ll get to hear about more adventures with them in the coming weeks, if we could ever have PG ones…twins…

So yes months have passed by and the newness has faded but the reality of my life feels pretty great. I’ve made new friends that will hopefully be lifelong ones, I get to continuously work towards my aspiration of being the best volleyball player I can be and though I miss my friends and family, living life in my new hood feels pretty good.

Ever Wanderlusting,

IJ

Notable laughs of the week:

Some good family time with the girly pops. We had the past weekend off so we decided to have a family meal consisting of pizza, popcorn, and (p)laughter. A running joke that we have on the team comes from one of our Danish girls’, Sarah, aka secret lover aka don’t tickle her, obsession with sweaters. I think her shopping problem is as bad as mine was…is but she’s in the shopaholics stage of denial. She wears a different sweater literally every day and claims to only own 4….don’t worry girly pop I used to have the same problem.

A traumatic incident on the bus. Some of you may or may not know this but sometime during my adult life I’ve developed a fear of closing doors. Like so bad that I actually broke hands with someone (a tinderoni a few weeks ago) going into revolving doors and left him on the other side of the glass to walk the circle alone….embarrassing. Anyways I was getting off of the bus, which is like the safest public transportation doors in Copenhagen (freaking watch out for the metro) and the driver closed the door on my hand!!!!!! I was still inside of the bus trying to check out and the doors started closing so like the genius I am I stuck my hand in the door only to discover these automatic doors don’t have a sensor and just close on your hand. My friend on the other side of the doors literally saw my fingers poking out on the other side. I wanted to say “I already have one deformed finger lady can we not ruin all of them?????” But all i could muster was stop….stop. It was the worst.

Sent from my iPad

Defining Moments

This morning as I set up the outdoor tables, blankets, and furs in 30 degree weather (that in itself doesn’t quite make sense now does it) at my quaint little Cafe, Cafe Bopa,  a phrase kept popping up in my mind. Defining moments. What are defining moments? Who decides when they happen and do what they mean?

This past week we suffered another 5 set loss than knocked us down from 3rd to 4th place in our volley liga going into playoffs this weekend. It left me stunned. Our past two losses some would say are defining moments. Having gone through the entire season only losing to the top two teams in the league and then suddenly at the end of our our season going into one of the most important weekends of the year, we now have two losses versus two teams that we beat in 3 the first half of the season.

Defining moments.

What do they mean? Who makes them happen?? Who says they are what they are? I chose to say that I will not be defined by wins or losses. We play the number one team tomorrow. The loss we had on Sunday means nothing. The loss we had last Sunday means nothing. The win we had before that means the same. The effort, the heart, the courage I have as an old woman (dang near 30) that packed her bags and moved across the ocean far from friends and family remains the same. My hope and my ambition is that me and my girly pops do not let wins or losses define us. That we play for each other, that we play for sweet Fred (our current coach and former Olympian coach), that we play with joy, that at the end of this weekend we can say we fought, we worked, we put everything out on the court and left nothing to regret. And maybe, just maybe, the result of that will be a big surprise.

Aside from volleyball this past week has been great. It’s my favorite of the 8 weeks I live off of because it was my break from grad school (yay). Probably the most entertaining part of the week was my Monday morning shift at Cafe Bopa. Last week I mentioned a staff party for my cafe Sunday night. It was great to socialize with my coworkers outside of Bopa and to meet people from the two other restaurants/bars that my boss partly owns. I chose to be responsible since I had the opening shift the next day and called it a night around midnight. The opening cook however did not. Monday morning I came into work expecting him (let’s just call him Chef) to be in not the best shape, but it was even better than I imagined. Chef was locked up in the bathroom till about 8:50 (we open at 9) when I finally decided to try and get him out. Upon knocking on the door and calling his name, he simply knocked back. 10 minutes later he arrived downstairs in the same outfit I saw him in the night before and attempted to put out the morning buffet. Literally so funny, he claims he doesn’t remember the wonderful conversations we had but I blame selective memory since they all revolved around me “breaking his heart” for leaving the party early. No better way to get rid of the Mondays than a hilariously tired zombie of a cook.

Travel alert: I booked my trip to Asia!! Ricky Bobby aka Ericka aka travel partna will not be stranded alone at the Singapore airport come June. I’ll be flying in and out of Kuala Lumpur, just 3 hours north of my homeland Johor Bahru. What I know is that I’ll be spending two weeks in Malaysia with my sweet parents (praise Jesus) and overlapping that, a little less than 2 weeks in Thailand with Ricky Bobby, and then I have a week on my own, in a country TBD. If anyone has suggestions for a girl alone with a backpack crying because her family and friend left the country in southeast lemme know.

As a professional athlete it’s easy to be consumed with wins and losses. It’s easy to begin to find your identity in your sport and your success in that sport. I don’t want to be that player. I didn’t drastically alter my life and trust God to take care of me as I pursue my passion to…win a game? I did so to have the chance to step on a volleyball court and work hard for the 10 other girls on the court and in the gym. Wish us luck this weekend, whether we win or lose, I will do my best to uphold my word and feel okay about whatever the outcome because of my passion and love for this beautiful game.

Ever Wanderlusting,

IJ